'Is Facebook making us sad?'

Michelle told me about this article while I was taking a break from Facebook.

Basically, the article examines how Facebook might actually lower our self-esteem. Facebook allows people to evaluate the happiness and success of other people's lives while causing some users to feel as if their own lives are far less fulfilling than their friends'.

We tend to see ourselves as the losers, Facebook appears to exploit an Achilles' heel of human nature. And women—an especially unhappy bunch of late—may be especially vulnerable to keeping up with what they imagine is the happiness of the Joneses.

Argh. That was my first response to reading this article. Not because I found it completely out of touch with how I feel as a Facebook user, but because I found it entirely true in my own case. I never had a particular reason for my frequent Facebook breaks, but after reading this article among other Facebook psychological studies, I have realized I have been victim to this sadness.

My initial excuses for staying away from Facebook were the following:

a) I'm trying to use my free time for other things
b) Facebook is distracting
c) I use too much data on my phone when I'm looking at Facebook updates

I have come to realize those were all superficial reasons. I won't go as far to say that Facebook has depressed me. The article even says that Facebook isn't the cause of sadness in users but may only be a correlation. However, I would have to agree with what the article says Facebook is. It can be interpreted as a basic summary of one's assets: career, education, friends, social events attended, talents and other interests. We can post all our major achievements (new job!) and all our daily accomplishments (newly baked cookies!) and therefore make our tedious activities become noteworthy and interesting. All of which, may lead users to seeing everyone happier than their own selves.

I like Facebook for the ease of photo uploading and ability to keep in touch (or stalk) other peoples' lives. However, what happens to us when we get 'unfriended'? What do I feel when my friend doesn't reply to my comment but does to everyone else? Why wasn't I invited to this & that event? However much I tell myself that it doesn't matter, I have found myself crying over the aforementioned happenings. I have evaluated my friendships with people based on how they 'treat' me on Facebook. I have seen my exclusion from their Facebook has an evaluation of my relationship to them.

I think the reason why I wanted to write this blog is to explain that I am not exempt from these feelings. I will agree that I am a sensitive person, care very much about how others perceive me, and furthermore, try very hard to be a kind person. I hope that I have never made someone feel bad about themselves because of anything I have posted (or not posted) on Facebook. I also hope that I can try to not be offended from Facebook friends when there is no offense to be taken.

In conclusion, I have begun to approach Facebook differently. I know that to many people Facebook doesn't affect them, but to those who ever feel as if they are not measuring up, I hope that they will refresh their lives by stepping away from social networking for awhile. Read a book. Read a few books. Go on a walk. Do yoga. Try a new recipe. Change your daily habits by doing one thing differently each day. After that, tell your significant other/parents/friends (not via Facebook) what you did.

In the time I was off Facebook, I had some of the most rewarding and even most saddening events take place in my life. I feel that by not disclosing what happened (through my Facebook statuses), I was able to revel in my happiness more genuinely and even grieve in situations more sincerely. I am not disowning Facebook but rather admitting my own weaknesses. I think I need to remember that social networking is only an accessory and superficial explanation of me, not an evaluation of how successful of a human being I am.