Redo

I posted a couple songs that I recorded a few weeks ago. Here is one that I redid. No metronome this time. Ba ha.


Click to hear my take on Schuyler Fisk's "From Where I'm Standing"

A little tribute

It has been a crazy past few weeks. I was so happy when this weekend finally came along. Although we stayed pretty busy moving Graydon's grandparents out, I feel like we still had a good time.

Speaking of time. I feel so weird right now. Things have changed so much in just a short amount of time. I can hardly believe that my routine has changed so abruptly. I know that this is a good change but I can't help but be extremely sentimental about all the wonderful times I've had working at the restaurant for the past 4 years. I still remember the first time I walked in there. Graydon was holding my hand, it was our last day together before he left on his mission. My entire family was painting the walls brown and beige and some family friends were taking down old decorations from the Chinese restaurant. I led Graydon through some upturn furniture, past old bottles of soy sauce and plates stacked along the tables. We glanced around a bit, I knew I didn't want to stay too long since I had so little time left with Gray. I told him it would be transformed when he got back from his mission.

I had been there almost every day since that moment. I remember scraping gum from under the booths and sobbing because I missed Gray so much. I remember serving my first table and not knowing a single item on the menu. I remember realizing that I needed to brush up on Thai because I didn't know what I was talking about most of the time to the cooks. The restaurant was my home. I spent my weekend nights serving only to return home to watch some rented videos before bed. Eventually I began making friends with our fellow servers. I am so sad that I will not have Erin to make fun of Studio 5 with anymore or to talk to her about having missionaries out.

I think the best part of the restaurant was being able to work with my family. I saw my mom every day and Michelle before Will-man was born. I loved having their support and being able to put my complete trust in them. My mom is the hardest worker I know and I want to be like her someday. I want to be confident in how I talk to people and have the same patience that she shows with difficult employees/customers/etc. I am so grateful that I was able to work with her for 4 years. I know I wouldn't have learned as much if I decided to work elsewhere. I am so glad I was able to acquire more than just knowledge of the food industry. I learned priceless advice about how to treat people, not only in a business setting but in a personal intimate setting. I learned how to cook, which is something that I know I will pass down to my children.

I know I'm acting like I'm never going to see the restaurant anymore. I will probably be eating lunch there ever day...but I can't help but feel so emotionally attached to this place that provided me comfort when I was the loneliest and money when I was definitely the poorest. It has always been there for me when I really had no place to go. I hope in someway I made some impact on it while I was there. I do know that it changed my life more than anything.

I'm starting my new job tomorrow. I really hope that I can use everything that the restaurant has taught me for this new position. I am definitely going to be out of my element for awhile but I am so excited for it at the same time! I am going to be working in a setting where I don't have to stand for 5 hours straight!

Anyway, this was my tribute to the restaurant. It is a magical little place and I will never take it for granted again. I am going to eat there tomorrow most likely...I'm already craving Thai food.

'Is Facebook making us sad?'

Michelle told me about this article while I was taking a break from Facebook.

Basically, the article examines how Facebook might actually lower our self-esteem. Facebook allows people to evaluate the happiness and success of other people's lives while causing some users to feel as if their own lives are far less fulfilling than their friends'.

We tend to see ourselves as the losers, Facebook appears to exploit an Achilles' heel of human nature. And women—an especially unhappy bunch of late—may be especially vulnerable to keeping up with what they imagine is the happiness of the Joneses.

Argh. That was my first response to reading this article. Not because I found it completely out of touch with how I feel as a Facebook user, but because I found it entirely true in my own case. I never had a particular reason for my frequent Facebook breaks, but after reading this article among other Facebook psychological studies, I have realized I have been victim to this sadness.

My initial excuses for staying away from Facebook were the following:

a) I'm trying to use my free time for other things
b) Facebook is distracting
c) I use too much data on my phone when I'm looking at Facebook updates

I have come to realize those were all superficial reasons. I won't go as far to say that Facebook has depressed me. The article even says that Facebook isn't the cause of sadness in users but may only be a correlation. However, I would have to agree with what the article says Facebook is. It can be interpreted as a basic summary of one's assets: career, education, friends, social events attended, talents and other interests. We can post all our major achievements (new job!) and all our daily accomplishments (newly baked cookies!) and therefore make our tedious activities become noteworthy and interesting. All of which, may lead users to seeing everyone happier than their own selves.

I like Facebook for the ease of photo uploading and ability to keep in touch (or stalk) other peoples' lives. However, what happens to us when we get 'unfriended'? What do I feel when my friend doesn't reply to my comment but does to everyone else? Why wasn't I invited to this & that event? However much I tell myself that it doesn't matter, I have found myself crying over the aforementioned happenings. I have evaluated my friendships with people based on how they 'treat' me on Facebook. I have seen my exclusion from their Facebook has an evaluation of my relationship to them.

I think the reason why I wanted to write this blog is to explain that I am not exempt from these feelings. I will agree that I am a sensitive person, care very much about how others perceive me, and furthermore, try very hard to be a kind person. I hope that I have never made someone feel bad about themselves because of anything I have posted (or not posted) on Facebook. I also hope that I can try to not be offended from Facebook friends when there is no offense to be taken.

In conclusion, I have begun to approach Facebook differently. I know that to many people Facebook doesn't affect them, but to those who ever feel as if they are not measuring up, I hope that they will refresh their lives by stepping away from social networking for awhile. Read a book. Read a few books. Go on a walk. Do yoga. Try a new recipe. Change your daily habits by doing one thing differently each day. After that, tell your significant other/parents/friends (not via Facebook) what you did.

In the time I was off Facebook, I had some of the most rewarding and even most saddening events take place in my life. I feel that by not disclosing what happened (through my Facebook statuses), I was able to revel in my happiness more genuinely and even grieve in situations more sincerely. I am not disowning Facebook but rather admitting my own weaknesses. I think I need to remember that social networking is only an accessory and superficial explanation of me, not an evaluation of how successful of a human being I am.