Wednesday, April 16, 2008

frankenstein

i feel a bit like a creature pieced together by parts that don't necessarily fit together just right. it's like that time when you tried as a kid to force a puzzle together when you were well aware of the missing piece.

well. i have had this blog for awhile but never attempted to post anything until i saw michelle's today. it made me extremely excited to write again. lately i haven't had any desire to.

it is healthy to do what you love frequently.

recently i have discovered what makes me happy. and it is not quite what i thought. it has changed, it has reared its...well, beautiful head.

i am deciding to throw out the bad right now. i refuse to let it consume me and vice versa. i doubt this vagueness does much for anyone. i remember when i used to walk to that park by my house in south jordan and kick at the wood chips under the swing. alison and i spent graduation night there. there were cinnamon bears, too. that moment was clarity...

sitting with michelle at the fountain with ice cream in hand. looking into the water and seeing few coins, less wishes than i remember people used to make, i knew that michelle would be leaving for 18 months...

but now she is home and i don't have to stare into an empty wishing fountain anymore.

i will climb the highest point in chamonix to see where the vastness stretches, where i will find much that appeases me, where i will find things that make sense finally.