it's been a wonderful month. things have been nice and steady, i have been working full time at the restaurant for almost an entire month now. i really love working with my family and it's always a bonus when i get free food every day. it's also nice having the chance to brush up on cooking skills in the morning.
i recently celebrated my birthday with my family. it was awesome, we went to dinner and snowboarding/skiing at Brighton the next day. it was really fun teaching Graydon how to snowboard (even though he was pro and didn't need too much help from me). i had a great time, it was kind of hard to believe that i hadn't been up there in so long but it still came back to me. i remember the very first time i sat at the top of the bunny hill, feeling so utterly hopeless and discouraged by trying to make it down the mountain in multiple failed attempts.
it's a lot like how i have been feeling lately. sometimes the view up to the top is so pleasant on the lift. the trees are dusted with morning snowflakes, the skiers glide seamlessly below, the air pricks your nose with a cool kiss and the only thing you really think about is how quiet it all is. by the time i see the lift approaching the top of the mountain i suddenly panic and wonder if it is possible for me to get off without knocking over anybody. i forget that i have done it hundreds of times and i try to swallow those creeping butterflies.
lately i have been discouraged because of destinations i have been taken to. after arriving at mountains or new places in my life, i feel like i panic and double take everything. sometimes i feel like i pay too much attention to the journey there and i never stop to enjoy where i arrive.
i understand this is all terribly vague...
but i really am so grateful at the places where i have arrived. i am still discovering who i am, but i know that i can be better and happier with the paths i choose to take. i am trying so hard to enjoy the destinations i get to. even if it means arriving at the top of a steep mountain with a tree-covered face to carve down.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
serendipity?
graydon and i went to las vegas a couple months ago. we heard that a visit to serendipity 3 in vegas was a must. as we sat down amidst a catastrophic explosion of pink, bright lamps and trinkets, i had a hard time pinpointing the coining of "serendipity". most likely it was the newspaper size menu, the frozen hot chocolate the size of your face and the eccentric decor that was meant to convey the term.
i thought about this because i made gray watch the movie Serendipity with me. and as cheesy as it sounds, i got to thinking about how certain events may lead us to people. but in addition to that, i began to think about how much the things we do and decisions we make truly determine how things work out in our lives. at first, the events seem like distracting objects, never really there for any purpose. but eventually, you realize the distracting object is a huge menu for a superbly delictable cafe, designed to show you that you are capable of choosing just one, out of the dozen of entrees...even after an exhausting search for what you think you wanted initially and then changed because something seemed more suited to your taste...
that doesn't make much sense...but let me try to hatch some sort of explanation:
i like to think back on so many years ago when i only knew graydon as another kid on the roll in English. i always knew him, but never approached him. there was always something about graydon that interested me: whether i was distracted by school or social life, i never felt right about introducing myself to him. i specifically remember seeing graydon for the first time at a mutual friend's birthday party; a crowd of kids lined up for limbo parted for a bit, and revealed a mysterious kid with dark hair and eyes, somewhat reserved but at the same time, animatedly engaged in conversation with a friend. my friend told me his name was braden and i went home that night to find him in the student directory. i never did find a braden taylor.
it took about 2 1/2 years until i officially met graydon. i even had a class with him, i remember him coming in late a couple times, sheepishly sitting down as Ms. Pratt made a remark about his tardiness, and then watched him as he mumbled to his friend. is it strange that i can extract specific memories of him even before i thought about dating him?
i will always remember him auditioning for the talent show. and then watching him perform in the talent show. and then deciding whether or not i should tell him he did a good job or not. i started to get really shy. but one day, i just spilled my heart to him after a slurpee trip and a walk to the park. i couldn't get graydon michael taylor off my mind.
after graydon and i got married, we were rummaging through his old things at his mom's house. we found a box full of his assignments from high school. i pulled out a familiar looking binder, i remember completing a similar one in our English class with Ms. Pratt. we had a poetry unit with varying themes for different sections. race, religion, language, etc. i flipped open the last page and out fell an article i wrote for the school newspaper: "muslims at bingham" i smirked and asked why he had my article tucked in his binder. "i just really liked it." hm. i had to hug him for that.
well...this blog didn't end where i thought it would, but i like to smile and kiss graydon when i think about our beginnings. i did wait for graydon and marry him after 2 years, but i always like to start off before that. i like to think about what i did to deserve meeting someone like him. i truly look to my friends that i knew at the time, and especially my family for encouraging me to be a better version of myself. i also like to think about graydon's family, and i especially think about how they encouraged graydon to be the person that i am so in love with.
serendipity? i don't really know where to fit that in anymore: my macbook says:
serendipity |ˌserənˈdipitē|
noun
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way
ha ha. i should watch more chick flicks.
i thought about this because i made gray watch the movie Serendipity with me. and as cheesy as it sounds, i got to thinking about how certain events may lead us to people. but in addition to that, i began to think about how much the things we do and decisions we make truly determine how things work out in our lives. at first, the events seem like distracting objects, never really there for any purpose. but eventually, you realize the distracting object is a huge menu for a superbly delictable cafe, designed to show you that you are capable of choosing just one, out of the dozen of entrees...even after an exhausting search for what you think you wanted initially and then changed because something seemed more suited to your taste...
that doesn't make much sense...but let me try to hatch some sort of explanation:
i like to think back on so many years ago when i only knew graydon as another kid on the roll in English. i always knew him, but never approached him. there was always something about graydon that interested me: whether i was distracted by school or social life, i never felt right about introducing myself to him. i specifically remember seeing graydon for the first time at a mutual friend's birthday party; a crowd of kids lined up for limbo parted for a bit, and revealed a mysterious kid with dark hair and eyes, somewhat reserved but at the same time, animatedly engaged in conversation with a friend. my friend told me his name was braden and i went home that night to find him in the student directory. i never did find a braden taylor.
it took about 2 1/2 years until i officially met graydon. i even had a class with him, i remember him coming in late a couple times, sheepishly sitting down as Ms. Pratt made a remark about his tardiness, and then watched him as he mumbled to his friend. is it strange that i can extract specific memories of him even before i thought about dating him?
i will always remember him auditioning for the talent show. and then watching him perform in the talent show. and then deciding whether or not i should tell him he did a good job or not. i started to get really shy. but one day, i just spilled my heart to him after a slurpee trip and a walk to the park. i couldn't get graydon michael taylor off my mind.
after graydon and i got married, we were rummaging through his old things at his mom's house. we found a box full of his assignments from high school. i pulled out a familiar looking binder, i remember completing a similar one in our English class with Ms. Pratt. we had a poetry unit with varying themes for different sections. race, religion, language, etc. i flipped open the last page and out fell an article i wrote for the school newspaper: "muslims at bingham" i smirked and asked why he had my article tucked in his binder. "i just really liked it." hm. i had to hug him for that.
well...this blog didn't end where i thought it would, but i like to smile and kiss graydon when i think about our beginnings. i did wait for graydon and marry him after 2 years, but i always like to start off before that. i like to think about what i did to deserve meeting someone like him. i truly look to my friends that i knew at the time, and especially my family for encouraging me to be a better version of myself. i also like to think about graydon's family, and i especially think about how they encouraged graydon to be the person that i am so in love with.
serendipity? i don't really know where to fit that in anymore: my macbook says:
serendipity |ˌserənˈdipitē|
noun
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way
ha ha. i should watch more chick flicks.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Very late at night, and in the morning light
I am still awake. I can't stop thinking about those doll dresses. I can't stop thinking about the American Girl dolls. I loved dressing them up, loved brushing their hair. The reason why I am thinking about it? I have not the faintest idea.
I ordered a vintage 1960s dress pattern the other day. I have never made a dress before. I have made skirts and even a very poorly made blouse but never a dress with a pattern. I am planning on copying the pattern so i don't destroy it. Sizes in the 60s were a little different. I need to learn how to resize patterns, too. I can't decide what fabric to buy. Of course I should probably be working on my research paper. The last thing on my mind.
I will let you know how the dress making goes. As of now, all I have is the pretty pattern, the package is a stylish sketch of women donning the dress. If I can practice making dresses enough, maybe I will get good at it. I have been looking for a new hobby.
I think that when I am finished using the pattern, I will frame the package. The drawing is adorable, and it would be a fun sketch to have hung up somewhere. Maybe I will frame every dress pattern I complete.
Sigh. Well it has been a long day. I think that now I have transferred my thoughts to this blog, I should be able to sleep.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
honey in the sun
I am currently sprawled up against Graydon. His arm is always warmer than mine, and my feet are always colder than his. We have so much fun together.
Today has been an extremely busy day for me. Graydon was kind enough to let us take a break from cooking. We don't eat out often, but we decided to get some Chinese food. We went to a tiny place in West Jordan called Enjoy. It was nice to be served for once. We got tons of food for a little bit of money and mostly we enjoyed each others' company while chatting about upcoming events in our life.
I didn't mean to...
but earlier today I was getting ready. I had just finished blow drying my hair, and my hands were still damp. I was fumbling around the medicine cabinet, looking for my cabbage rose perfume (Graydon calls it my cabbage perfume). When I found it behind the L'Occitane bottle of cherry blossom spray, I foolishly slid it to the side and watched it as it crashed, almost as if in slow motion, to a jagged mass of glass in the bathroom sink. I watched as the cherry blossom concoction swirled for a bit, and quickly dissipated. Luckily, Graydon had plugged the drain for me, in an effort to protect my wedding ring from falling into the pipes. I watched as the rose colored liquid calmed itself, all the while watching as tiny spikes of glass pierced the surface, creating dangerous icebergs for any incoming intruder.
Graydon heard the crash. I saw his sad face. But he returned quickly, plastic bottle in hand, along with two measuring spoon sets. "Here." We began our expedition.
I used the heart-shaped measuring spoons. I mostly used the teaspoon. In a matter of minutes, Graydon and I had successfully scraped out all the perfume remaining in the sink, into a slightly crushed but unbreakable container.
My hands still smell like the perfume, and I was devastated initially, but now, I am elated at the idea of standing in front of a sink with Graydon with measuring spoons in hand, saving the remnants of his Christmas present.
It is always strange how these tiny moments seem to put me in a writing mood.
Today has been an extremely busy day for me. Graydon was kind enough to let us take a break from cooking. We don't eat out often, but we decided to get some Chinese food. We went to a tiny place in West Jordan called Enjoy. It was nice to be served for once. We got tons of food for a little bit of money and mostly we enjoyed each others' company while chatting about upcoming events in our life.
I didn't mean to...
but earlier today I was getting ready. I had just finished blow drying my hair, and my hands were still damp. I was fumbling around the medicine cabinet, looking for my cabbage rose perfume (Graydon calls it my cabbage perfume). When I found it behind the L'Occitane bottle of cherry blossom spray, I foolishly slid it to the side and watched it as it crashed, almost as if in slow motion, to a jagged mass of glass in the bathroom sink. I watched as the cherry blossom concoction swirled for a bit, and quickly dissipated. Luckily, Graydon had plugged the drain for me, in an effort to protect my wedding ring from falling into the pipes. I watched as the rose colored liquid calmed itself, all the while watching as tiny spikes of glass pierced the surface, creating dangerous icebergs for any incoming intruder.
Graydon heard the crash. I saw his sad face. But he returned quickly, plastic bottle in hand, along with two measuring spoon sets. "Here." We began our expedition.
I used the heart-shaped measuring spoons. I mostly used the teaspoon. In a matter of minutes, Graydon and I had successfully scraped out all the perfume remaining in the sink, into a slightly crushed but unbreakable container.
My hands still smell like the perfume, and I was devastated initially, but now, I am elated at the idea of standing in front of a sink with Graydon with measuring spoons in hand, saving the remnants of his Christmas present.
It is always strange how these tiny moments seem to put me in a writing mood.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Love Love Love Love
We're married!
I am the happiest girl alive. It's been a week since Graydon & I were married in the Salt Lake Temple for time and all eternity. It is so refreshing to wake up with Graydon every morning. He always manages to make me laugh at the beginning of each day. I have already learned to treasure these small moments, and especially the moments when he quietly urges me out of sleep so we can say morning prayer.
Graydon & I started off with a small honeymoon in Park City. We stayed in a beautiful lodge. The weather was perfect for us. We love rain/clouds/chilly weather. We were only there for a couple nights, but it felt as if we were in our own world, everything and anything was solely about the two of us. There was nothing that could possibly upset us. Not even dumb drivers.
Our reception was beautiful, and I am so grateful for Lynn for letting us use his home. Graydon's mom Lauretta helped us so much, and my mom did an amazing job arranging flowers and making my bouquet and the corsages and boutonnieres. It was so fun to see our friends and family and Graydon and I had a pleasant/shocking surprise when we got to our car before leaving.
I don't know what it is about being married that makes me feel so different, but I am happy when I can make Graydon happy. It is so fun to hear the lock twisting, then seeing Gray's face emerging. It gives me the momentum to run up to him and hug his neck until he can no longer breathe. I have so much fun with him.
Graydon is always assuring me that things are just fine. He is so good at calming my nerves. We are embarking on an adventure to Belize in just a few days. I am so excited to know that I get to hold his hand while staring out of an airplane. I am looking forward to screaming when I see a large bug in the jungle and having Graydon laugh at me (or shriek with me...)
This is going to be the best summer ever!
I am the happiest girl alive. It's been a week since Graydon & I were married in the Salt Lake Temple for time and all eternity. It is so refreshing to wake up with Graydon every morning. He always manages to make me laugh at the beginning of each day. I have already learned to treasure these small moments, and especially the moments when he quietly urges me out of sleep so we can say morning prayer.
Graydon & I started off with a small honeymoon in Park City. We stayed in a beautiful lodge. The weather was perfect for us. We love rain/clouds/chilly weather. We were only there for a couple nights, but it felt as if we were in our own world, everything and anything was solely about the two of us. There was nothing that could possibly upset us. Not even dumb drivers.
Our reception was beautiful, and I am so grateful for Lynn for letting us use his home. Graydon's mom Lauretta helped us so much, and my mom did an amazing job arranging flowers and making my bouquet and the corsages and boutonnieres. It was so fun to see our friends and family and Graydon and I had a pleasant/shocking surprise when we got to our car before leaving.
I don't know what it is about being married that makes me feel so different, but I am happy when I can make Graydon happy. It is so fun to hear the lock twisting, then seeing Gray's face emerging. It gives me the momentum to run up to him and hug his neck until he can no longer breathe. I have so much fun with him.
Graydon is always assuring me that things are just fine. He is so good at calming my nerves. We are embarking on an adventure to Belize in just a few days. I am so excited to know that I get to hold his hand while staring out of an airplane. I am looking forward to screaming when I see a large bug in the jungle and having Graydon laugh at me (or shriek with me...)
This is going to be the best summer ever!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
the countdown is here!
i am really excited! i am merely 9 days away from being sealed to the love of my existence. this Saturday, i am receiving my endowments at the Draper temple. i am looking forward to so many things right now!
i had my bridal shower last Saturday with my friends and family and it was a great turnout. mindy and michelle and brad spent time making sure that everything was perfect, and i appreciate all the great things they did to make everyone enjoy the shower! also, my family gave me some awesome presents. my friends gave me some unmentionables, but nonetheless thank you to everyone who could make it! it truly made me feel so thankful to have great friends and family who support me and Graydon.
it was also fun to hang out with alison, dani and ashley on tuesday night. dani picked me up and we drove down to provo to hang out and have a mini girls' night. i really appreciated having great conversation and dinner. lots of things change, but it was so great to still feel the sincerity of friendship (aw)
i am kind of in a panic with small things. health insurance is a pain. finding wedding favors is kind of obnoxious. i feel like wedding planning doesn't fit my personality very well. i am very indifferent and indecisive. it took me forever to decide on wedding colors. now that i have them, i am still not sure that everything will neatly fit into the category of pink and green. nevertheless, i am very much looking forward to the luncheon and reception that our parents have prepared for us.
truly, i am so excited to just marry Graydon. yesterday, we began moving things around in our new little bedroom. it took a lot of cleaning and rearranging but it was fun to just lie on the bed and laugh about our day. i imagine we'll have many nights of talking and laughing, and i am so grateful that he is my best friend.
i also received some online proofs of my bridal pictures! i really wish that Graydon could've been in my pictures, but work is always getting in the way of our fun. Heather George did a great job with the pictures! i love how natural and candid her photos are. she does very classy and flattering pictures and i would highly recommend her to anyone else looking for a wedding photographer.
other than that, things are pretty simple. i love this weather and i am so excited for our honeymoon in park city And belize! now...if only i had my passport...
i had my bridal shower last Saturday with my friends and family and it was a great turnout. mindy and michelle and brad spent time making sure that everything was perfect, and i appreciate all the great things they did to make everyone enjoy the shower! also, my family gave me some awesome presents. my friends gave me some unmentionables, but nonetheless thank you to everyone who could make it! it truly made me feel so thankful to have great friends and family who support me and Graydon.
it was also fun to hang out with alison, dani and ashley on tuesday night. dani picked me up and we drove down to provo to hang out and have a mini girls' night. i really appreciated having great conversation and dinner. lots of things change, but it was so great to still feel the sincerity of friendship (aw)
i am kind of in a panic with small things. health insurance is a pain. finding wedding favors is kind of obnoxious. i feel like wedding planning doesn't fit my personality very well. i am very indifferent and indecisive. it took me forever to decide on wedding colors. now that i have them, i am still not sure that everything will neatly fit into the category of pink and green. nevertheless, i am very much looking forward to the luncheon and reception that our parents have prepared for us.
truly, i am so excited to just marry Graydon. yesterday, we began moving things around in our new little bedroom. it took a lot of cleaning and rearranging but it was fun to just lie on the bed and laugh about our day. i imagine we'll have many nights of talking and laughing, and i am so grateful that he is my best friend.
i also received some online proofs of my bridal pictures! i really wish that Graydon could've been in my pictures, but work is always getting in the way of our fun. Heather George did a great job with the pictures! i love how natural and candid her photos are. she does very classy and flattering pictures and i would highly recommend her to anyone else looking for a wedding photographer.
other than that, things are pretty simple. i love this weather and i am so excited for our honeymoon in park city And belize! now...if only i had my passport...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
commentating on love, brushing my toes against a fluffy dog
saturday was one of two bridal showers. lauretta and scott put together some amazing food as well as an amazing party! i never felt so spoiled. i was really glad to see everyone there. my mom was able to leave work and come up to bountiful, along with michelle and mindee. maddi, kayley and erica were there too, and it was fun to see all of graydon's family there. everybody helped me feel welcome and comfortable, even though i didn't know everyone. it was overwhelming to see how thoughtful people could be. i sometimes blush at the idea of being overwhelmed with kindness, but i think it's just an emotion that incites someone to be a better person. i was really grateful for all the much needed kitchen appliances/dishes/utensils/towels/etc. as well as gift cards and even just simple words of advice. even those who just participated in gathering the wrapping paper, or writing down the names of guests and their gifts.
on saturday, i learned a lot from women, some who have been married over 50 years. i learned that love is never capable of fitting one definition. i think i find new ways to define love.
after i opened one of the last gifts, sipping a pineapple sorbet drink and perspiring from layers of ribbon around my neck, i looked up to see my graydon standing in the doorway, finally upstairs because the shock of a house full of women had worn off. he just smiled at me. that is love.
today i asked graydon to open a garbage sack as i dumped some scraps of food from dinner. he refused to do his homework until he had helped me with the dishes. that is also love.
graydon was staring at me during sacrament meeting and held the hymn book as we sang songs about Christ's resurrection. love again.
he offered to print 200 pages worth of invitations. love love love.
this has been a fabulous weekend. i have been thinking that each day requires a new task that is different from every other day...
one task i came up with is this:
a single hand hold, or a scratch of the neck, or even a kiss on the cheek, makes everything so much better, even when it is in the middle of a disagreement. people can still show their love for each other no matter the circumstances.
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